Astrology | How to determine relationship compatibility

One of the most famously common ways to use the tool of astrology is the determination of compatibility — with friends, family members, and most of all lovers.

Astrology can be a useful way of gaining insight into your relationship with someone. But it is not as black-and-white as mainstream articles and magazines have us believing. There is really no such thing as being “incompatible” with someone due to zodiac placements. Astrology does not tell you if your relationship is right or wrong. Rather, it reveals how the dynamic is and what your strengths and weaknesses are with one another.

When looking at astrology compatibility, do NOT ask yourself “are we compatible or not?” Rather, ask yourself, “what can we learn from each other?”


Going beyond “sun signs” — look at both of your “big 6” signs.

For compatibility, you want to pay attention to more than both of your sun signs. You want to pay attention to the “big six” sun, rising (1st house), moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars.

Looking at both of your “big 6” signs, pay attention to any repeating signs. For example, I have repeating Scorpio as sun, Mercury, and Venus, which gives me overall very high Scorpio energy.

HOWEVER, if you are new to astrology and the “big 6” overwhelms you, then feel free to stick with just the sun sign.


Opposites attract

You do not need the same exact signs, or even same elements, as your partner (or friend) in order to get along well. Actually, too much of the same can cause you two to clash.

All zodiac signs have their “opposite” signs — pay attention if you have opposite signs from one another. Opposite signs strengthen a bond because it can resemble your “other half,” or parts of yourself that you feel that you lack so you look for in someone else. More polarity equals a stronger attraction. Yet on the contrary, it can also lead to more aggression.

For example, if your sun is in Aries and their Venus is in Libra; if your moon is in Taurus and their rising is Scorpio; if your Mercury is Gemini and their Mars is Sagittarius.

Opposite signs:

  • Aries and Libra
  • Taurus and Scorpio
  • Gemini and Sagittarius
  • Cancer and Capricorn
  • Leo and Aquarius
  • Virgo and Pisces

Elements (fire, earth, air, water)

Comparing your “big 6” to theirs, you can pay attention to prevalent elements.

  • Fire = Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
  • Earth = Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
  • Air = Gemini, Libra, Aquarius
  • Water = Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Fire & fire: Very intense, passionate relationship. In romance, there is a lot of physical chemistry. (May be physical-only connection.) Prone to fights and lashing out, but making up very quickly. Bond strengthens through physical activity — sports, work/labor, dancing, hiking, and sex.

Fire & earth: This is a very physical connection in which you both value putting hard work into everything you do. Fire element adds spark and pizzaz, while earth elements brings a sense of grounding and realism. The earth keeps the fire patient and persistent, while the fire encourages the earth to pick up the pace.

Fire & air: This is a great balance between the physical (fire) and the mental (air). The connection brings both chemistry and intellect. This is a very fast-moving partnership in which you are both quick and eager. When the fire becomes too heated and aggressive, the air is able to cool them down and teach them how to remain detached.

Fire & water: This connection brings balance between physical (fire) and emotions (water.) It is both deep and passionate. Fire helps the water open up more and come out of their shell, while water helps the fire cool down their aggression. Water is pleased to let Fire take control of them, but beware of Fire expressing too much power.

Earth & earth: This is an extremely stable relationship. Commitment is strong, but there can also be a great deal of stubbornness between one another. It’s a very slow-moving relationship but likely to last long. They bond over their shared value of patience and persistence.

Earth & air: This is a logical and rational relationship. Both of you are realistic and practical thinkers. Earth encourages the Air to get out of their heads and more in their bodies; Air keeps Earth intellectually stimulated. There may be a tug between Earth’s slower-moving pace verses Air’s desire for quickness.

Earth & water: A very peaceful and harmonious relationship. Earth helps Water calm down during rough, emotional storms; Water softens the stubbornness of Earth’s attitude. Fights are rare but typically result in the “silent treatment” of freezing each other out.

Air & air: An intellectual connection, the both of you have great communication with one another. When it comes to disputes, you have rational conversations with one another in order to problem-solve. There may be a lack of emotion, especially if both of you lack water in your charts.

Air & water: This partnership brings balance between rational (air) and emotional (water). Air teaches Water how to find direction in life and see things from another perspective; Water teaches Air how to go with the flow and become more in touch with their feelings.

Water & water: A very deep, emotional, and spiritual relationship. It may take a while for both of you to open up to each other. You both respect one another’s sensitivities. There is a sense of being able to read each other’s minds.


Direction (cardinal, fixed, mutable)

With your “big 6,” pay attention to prevailing directions.

  • Cardinal = Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn
  • Fixed = Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius
  • Mutable = Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces

Cardinal + Cardinal = Both of you are initiators who like to be in control. You bond over your need to take action. But you could make a lot of plans with one another and then fail to follow through on them.

Cardinal + Fixed = Cardinal sparks ideas within the connection, and Fixed actually follows through and puts these thoughts into action.

Cardinal + Mutable = A great balance, as Cardinal takes control and Mutable prefers to go with the flow. But there can be frustration with one another’s opposing attitudes.

Fixed + Fixed = This is an obsessive and intense connection. Your bond is loyal, strong, and nearly unbreakable. But there can be a lot of fighting due to great stubbornness.

Fixed + Mutable = Fixed gives Mutable a sense of security and direction, while Mutable teaches Fixed how to relax a bit more and go with the flow.

Mutable + Mutable = The most chill relationship ever! Both of you are easygoing and breezy. But it will be slow in the beginning, as both of you struggle to take the initiative.


Ruling planets

It also helps to take a look at ruling planets. Again, taking your “big 6,” you can see if there’s a trend with any repeating planets.

  • Aries: Mars
  • Taurus: Venus
  • Gemini: Mercury
  • Cancer: Moon
  • Leo: Sun
  • Virgo: Mercury
  • Libra: Venus
  • Scorpio: Mars
  • Sagittarius: Jupiter
  • Capricorn: Saturn
  • Aquarius: Saturn
  • Pisces: Jupiter

Mercury + Mercury = A highly intellectual connection, mentally stimulating. You both enjoy learning things from one another. Communication and speaking skills are outstanding! You understand each other well.

Mercury + Venus = these are two people who truly value understanding where the other person is coming from. Venus will do anything to please their partner; Mercury is a wonderful listener and knows how to properly express their needs to Venus.

Mercury + Mars = Mercury will quickly pick up on Mars’s needs for a physical outlet. Mercury calms down Mars during times of aggression and encourages them to look at situations from a logical, detached perspective. Mars motivates Mercury to become more physically active and manifest their thoughts on the material level.

Mercury + Jupiter = This could be an intensely spiritual connection. Together, these two are easily able to transmit messages from the universe. Mercury is happy to let Jupiter have the spotlight while they stand in the background and observe.

Mercury + Saturn = Both of you are highly logical, rational, and realistic. Mercury encourages Saturn to open up more but also highly respects their boundaries. You are attracted to each other’s intelligence. There may be a lack of emotion (unless Venus, Mars, Neptune, or Moon is also present.)

Mercury + Sun = This is a powerful dynamic, as Sun loves being watched and observed by Mercury, and Mercury prefers to blend into the background and give Sun the attention that they crave.

Mercury + Moon = There is a clash in communication, as Mercury is straightforward and Moon relies on telepathy and reading between the lines. If you’re willing, Mercury can help Moon open up more and be a bit more outgoing, while Moon and help Mercury strengthen their intuition. Both of you have great observational skills and enjoy people-watching.

Venus + Venus = A sweet relationship in which both of you respect each other’s needs and emotions. You enjoy luxurious dates pampering each other, going to the spa or laying in bed all day watching movies. It may be difficult in the beginning to initiate the relationship, as both of you can be very shy.

Venus + Mars = This is nearly the perfect union. You two balance each other out with equal masculine and feminine energies. Mars brings stamina and motivation into the relationship, Venus brings peace and pleasure. Mars teaches Venus how to work harder, Venus shows Mars how to cool down. Very high sexual chemistry.

Venus + Jupiter = This is a passionate and all-consuming relationship. You both enjoy overindulging yourself — so be careful! You are likely to get along well and rarely fight.

Venus + Saturn = Your values may clash, as Venus prioritizes pleasure and Saturn emphasizes discipline. But you two can learn a lot from each other if you’re willing.

Venus + Sun = There’s a great balance between feminine and masculine energy. You both enjoy having fun together with a shared passion for being in the spotlight. But there could be a lot of jealousy over attention.

Venus + Moon = A very spiritual and dreamy relationship. Both of you are highly connected to your own emotions, enjoying giving and catering to one another. It may be difficult in the beginning to initiate the relationship, as both of you can be very shy.

Mars + Mars = A passionate and hot-headed relationship. Often, this can be a sex-only type of connection. You enjoy being active and playing sports with one another. But there is a lot of competition, aggression, and fighting with each other.

Mars + Jupiter = Both of you have a lot of energy and motivation. But Mars desires to work for what they want, while Jupiter would rather go with the flow and let their luck come to them.

Mars + Saturn = Both of you value hard work and discipline. Mars brings more passion and sexuality into the connection, while Saturn brings in more intellectual flow.

Mars + Sun = There’s strong passion here. When Mars becomes too heated and aggressive, Sun teaches them how to remain more lighthearted and laugh it off. And Mars encourages Sun to put their creative ideas into action.

Mars + Moon = High polarity, as Mars is active and aggressive, while Moon is introverted and passive. This can bring intense attraction but also more prone to arguments.

Jupiter + Jupiter = Harmonious and happy-go-lucky relationship. Just beware of overindulgence and spoiling each other too rotten! Make sure you learn how to respect one another’s boundaries.

Jupiter + Saturn = The two of you are opposite — Jupiter loves to overindulge and just wing it, while Saturn is disciplined and needs to strategize everything. With open minds, the two of you can balance each other out and learn a lot from one another. One thing you share in common is that you are both concerned with goodness and ethics.

Jupiter + Sun = You two have a lot in common, with shared enjoyment for leadership and being in the spotlight. There could be some fighting over attention and power.

Jupiter + Moon = This is a very spiritual and intuitive connection, in which you read each other’s minds. Jupiter encourages shy Moon to come out of their shell.

Saturn + Saturn = There’s a shared value over discipline, tradition, and structure. Very high intellectual compatibility. But there may be a lack of passion and physical attraction. It’s more about the mind than the body.

Saturn + Sun = Saturn is highly mature, while Sun can be much more childish — which means you have a lot to learn from one another. Sun is more extroverted and teaches Saturn how to come out of their shell. Both of you appreciate structure and routine.

Saturn + Moon = Both of you can be very shy and introverted. It will take a while to open up, but eventually can be a strong bond. Saturn is completely logical, while Moon is completely emotional — which brings balance.

Sun + Sun = Both of you enjoy laughing, having a good time, and making art together. There is a shared passion for being in the spotlight; may fight over attention.

Sun + Moon = High polarity: Sun is masculine and Moon is feminine; Sun is outgoing while Moon is introverted; Sun is silly and childlike while Moon is more contemplative and serious; Sun brings stability while Moon is unpredictable.

Moon + Moon = Extremely spiritual and intuitive connection. However, both of you are very shy, which means it’s going to take a long time for you to open up to one another.


In summary — putting it into practice

This is a lot of info to take in, so here is a summary of the steps to take in determining relationship compatibility:

  1. First, determine your “big 6” as well as your partner’s “big 6.”
    1. Birth chart — Sun, Moon, Rising, Mercury, Venus, Mars.
    2. Optional: If you are new to astrology and find this overwhelming, then you can focus solely on sun signs.
  2. Look for patterns of repeating signs, elements, directions, and planets.
    1. Look for opposite signs (this emphasizes polarity and attraction) as well as same signs (which emphasizes the qualities of that sign.)
    2. Look at element compatibility.
    3. Look at direction compatibility.
    4. Look at planetary compatibility.

Celebrity examples

Now, let’s look at some celebrity couples to get good examples of astrological compatibility!

Kim Kardashian & Pete Davidson

Always in the media, it’s impossible to ignore this couple. While there’s been a lot of drama surrounding ex-husband “Ye,” the couple itself seems to be quite chill and low-key. So let’s see what the stars say…

Pete’s birth time is not available, so his rising sign is unknown. But he does have Scorpio as his sun, Mercury, and Venus, which makes him at least 50% pure Scorpio — Water, Fixed, Mars. He also has moon in Capricorn and Mars in Sagittarius.

Kim’s big 6 = Sag rising, Libra sun, Pisces moon, Scorpio Mercury, Virgo Venus, Sag Mars. So let’s point out her patterns: repeating Sagittarius (twice), 2 water elements and 2 fire elements, 4 mutable signs, and 3 Jupiter’s.

I do not see any “opposite signs” within their charts, which of course does not mean that there is no attraction within the relationship. This tells me that there is less tension within the relationship, which is both good and bad — they may lack a sense of urgency and desire, but they likely get along very well and rarely fight. They both share “Sagittarius” in their charts, which signifies a harmonious relationship that receives a lot of attention. Both have a fair amount of water, which shows that they are sensitive to each other’s needs and feel a spiritual connection. They like to keep things cool on the surface, but emotions definitely run much deeper than meet’s the eye. Kim’s energy is very happy-go-lucky and go-with-the-flow, while Pete is more of the action-taker who follows through on his plans and ideas. Kim’s chart shows that she values attention and recognition, and is surely flattered by the obsessive and loyal tendencies that are revealed in Pete’s chart.

Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds

Possibly America’s favorite couple? This pair seems to be a strong and long-lasting couple, and the only time they show up in the news is when they are playfully roasting each other.

Ryan Reynolds also has heavy Scorpio energy, with his sun, moon, and Mars. He also has a Virgo rising, Libra Mercury. and Sag Venus. Blake Lively’s chart is fascinating — she has EVERYTHING in Virgo except for her Leo rising. Wow!

There are no opposite signs, yet another example that couples can still last without this factor. Again, this shows a lack of tension and desire in the relationship, but also means that they probably rarely ever fight. With a shared Virgo, there’s a great mutual understanding, the relationship is practical and thrives on structure and routine. Blake’s breezy and go-with-the-flow attitude is a perfect match for Ryan’s stubbornness and obsessive tendencies. When Ryan becomes too upset and goes through an emotional storm, Blake is there to keep him grounded and bring him back to Earth. Ryan values putting hard work and dedication into the relationship, and Blake appreciates this as she may struggle herself to keep the sparks going if it wasn’t for his efforts. There’s a great balance between the physical and the mental, as Ryan brings a lot of sexual energy and teaches Blake how to connect to her body, while Blake brings intellectual stimulation and teaches Ryan how to be a better communicator.

Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard

I wanted to look up this couple because I always see them in the news, known for being extremely open about their volatile and borderline-toxic relationship.

Here is a perfect example of a couple with opposing signs! Kristen’s sun and Mercury in Cancer is opposite of Dax’s sun, Mercury, and Venus in Capricorn. Kristen’s Venus in Gemini is opposite of Dax’s Mars in Sagittarius. She also has her moon and Mars in Libra, while he has his moon in Virgo. (We don’t have their rising signs because their birth time is unknown.) The high amount of opposing signs in their birth chart highlights both the strength and volatility of their relationship. They are extremely drawn to one another, with very high sexual chemistry, but may also have frequent disputes that are very nasty and ugly. Their attraction for one another goes very, very deep.

Dax is very Earthy, while Kristen has high Fire and Air. This combo for Kristen makes her very impatient, impulsive, and quick-minded — which contrasts with Dax’s slow-and-steady approach to life. Kristen is very open to change and trying new things, while Dax prefers to follow tradition and do things the old way. Both of them have high “cardinal” directions, which makes both of them action-takers and initiators. This shared desire for control can add more fuel to the fire, as they may both fight for power. Looking at planets, Kristen is much more emotional and spiritual, while Dax is very logical and disciplined — but both of them lean on the introverted side.

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