Please, do not expect perfection from me.
Do not put me on a pedestal… and then cry when I inevitably fail to meet your high expectations.
Do not see me as a supergirl, because even superheroes have flaws.
I do not claim to be perfect. I never said I was perfect. So never, ever, tell yourself that I am even close to capable of being perfect.
I will disappoint you. I will break your heart. I will let you down. It’s not because I’m malicious, it’s not because I’m evil, and it’s not because I’m intentionally wrong at times. It’s because you expected me to be someone I am not.
I am not an angel. I am not here to save anyone. But I’m not the devil, either. I’m not here to sabotage you. I am not the black-and-white image you hold me to be in your head. I am many shades of grey.
Sometimes I surprise myself, sometimes I go beyond my limits, sometimes I truly succeed. Other times, I mess up, I’m careless, I don’t try as hard as I should. This is what it means to be human.
I am not a mind reader. I do not know what you are thinking until you communicate it to me. And even then, I may not always comprehend it the right way.
I may be empathetic. I may be able to read emotions well, have a good idea about where someone is coming from, and feel your energy and vibes. But there will always be something that is bound to get lost in translation.
Please do not expect me to be perfect. Please expect me to make some mistakes. Please be patient with me, giving me time to practice. Please be understanding with me, giving me space to have some failures.
I don’t know what it is. All of my life, since I was a child, I felt the instant judgment upon others meeting me. They think I’m perfect. It was often the adults, telling me that I must be perfect. You would think that’s a great thing, yes? But where is there to go from the highest point? It’s only downhill from there…
And as you get to know me, your perfect illusion is shattered. But why did you set me up for failure? Why did you do that? Why do you judge me so strongly before actually getting to know me?
How can you meet me and claim I am an angel who fell straight from Heaven? How in the world am I ever going to live up to that image?
And then you will demonize me for the smallest mistakes. You will demonize me for the things that anyone else could get away with, because you expected disappointment from them. Maybe a part of you knew that I would let you down at some point, but you never imagined how far.
You respond with entitlement. You respond with anger. You respond with attitude.
I’m sorry to tell you that there is no such thing as perfect. I’m sorry to tell you that I do not have a halo floating above my head, nor did I ever claim to. I’m sorry that life is not as simple as black and white, I’m sorry that it’s far more complex than that.
But I am not sorry for my flaws, not sorry for being human. I am sick of going my whole life, apologizing for things that most people do not even feel the slightest guilt about.
How many times do I have to shout to the world that I am not an innocent?!
If you ever thought I was perfect, you’re delusional. Wake up.
Take responsibility for your delusions.