Update

I’m going to continue posting this week, but next week posts will be put on pause from Jan 11-17.

My mom is moving into a healthcare facility home next week. I’m following protocols to see her, I will be taking a COVID test, and I will not have to quarantine as long as it’s negative. This is a difficult transition but I know it will take a weight of the family’s shoulders. After this I will be able to fully focus on my work and personal life again. It has definitely been a lot on my plate, although my dad of course has suffered the greatest weight. As mentioned before it’s not simply the memory issues, but a lot of the burden has been her extreme anxiety and constant need for stimulation. Other professional care options haven’t worked for her in the past so this step is absolutely necessary. It’s wonderful how friends and family have been helping, it’s highly appreciated, but still can only go so far. I think what she truly needs is a set routine and reliability. I’m sure it will be a rough start for her, but I’m hoping that as she is doing the same thing every day, around the same people, and has that 24/7 professional care, we will all find more peace.

I don’t want to speak for others, but I feel that personally I will be able to feel more at ease after this. It’s been extremely physically, mentally, emotionally draining to keep up with her needs at this point. It has definitely been a huge distraction in my life, not to say that it’s anyone’s fault because it’s not, and I know consciously that my mom would never want to get in the way others, but I’ve had to put a lot of things on hold regarding my personal life. I really would like to have children who are able to see her and visit her while she is still with us. By the time I was born my grandpa was already progressed with Alzheimer’s, but I still have those memories of him to this day, I know I never saw him at his “best” but I definitely got to know him well, I still got to say that I hugged him and experienced parts of his personality, I still got a feel for who he was.

I don’t think I would’ve had to mental capacity to develop a relationship and start having children during 2020 or even a year or so prior, considering how much I had to be there for my mom on a daily basis, even with travel restrictions. But as my mom moves onto the next phase of her life, I feel like I can finally move onto the next phase of my life. It wouldn’t have been fair for me to jump into a relationship last year when my mind couldn’t be there 100%. But after next week and knowing that my mom is in good hands, I do feel like I can fully move forward and I really am ready for the next phase of my life, I just have to keep pushing past my social anxiety. I do believe in divine timing, and that we can’t control when or what happens to us, but I know my mom has always told me to live my own life and follow my path. She never would’ve wanted me putting my personal life on hold for her, but this was something that I had to do. I think it would upset her that I had to prioritize her over my love life. But again, last year was a time of healing and release for me, and I had to let go of a lot of things so that I could be fully 100% focused on the here and now. I am ready for the next phase of my life.

45 responses to “Update”

  1. hey lovely .i can not login anymore dont now why .but now you can follow me x sera6

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi hun, when I click on your name it doesn’t do anything 😒 I think there is some kind of technical error. I hope you can fix it I’m sorry it’s not working

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ah thats oke i m goinh to fix it

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Now it goes to your website!! I just can’t see it in the wordpress reader so I can’t like or comment

          Like

          1. ah thats good .and can you follow me now

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Okie I think I’m following you!! Let me know if im not

              Like

                1. Darn 😦 you should try to add a “follow” button widget on your site

                  Like

                      1. oke mabey becouse i need to post with this account

                        Liked by 1 person

                        1. Yeah I’m trying to find you in the reader but I can’t

                          Like

                          1. no me to .ok we find it soon.

                            Liked by 2 people

                            1. Yes!!! Must figure it out somehow. I don’t wanna miss a post

                              Like

                                1. ❀️❀️❀️

                                  Like

                                        1. Love you more πŸ˜»πŸ˜˜πŸ’•

                                          Liked by 1 person

                                          1. Going to sleep see you tomorrow 1πŸ₯°πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜

                                            Liked by 1 person

                                            1. Sweet dreams πŸ˜˜πŸ˜΄πŸ’€see you tomorrow πŸ₯°πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

                                              Like

                                              1. Thank you so m much lovely 1😘😘

                                                Liked by 1 person

                                                1. Of course honey bee β€οΈπŸ’‹πŸ’‹

                                                  Like

                          2. mabey tomorrow when i post here

                            Liked by 1 person

                            1. Yeah Ill look out for that!

                              Like

                              1. yeah me to 😍going to sleep

                                Liked by 1 person

                                1. Goodnight sweetie pie 😘

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                                  1. ah thank you darling see you tomorrow ❀😘❀😘

                                    Liked by 1 person

                                    1. See you tomorrow love!!! πŸ˜˜πŸ’•πŸ’•

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              1. grrr why does it not work

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Rawwrrrr!!! 😾😿 That’s frustrating!

                  Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Laura,
    My heart goes out to you. your siblings and especially your dad. Being the caretaker is such a difficult roll. There are so many demands and responsibilities. And it saddens me so since she is my “younger” cousin. I agree this will be a good move for all of the reasons you mentioned including routine. If she needs anything it is consistant routine. Hope that the transition will be an easy one for her. Unlike your grandmother who fought the facility, I hope your mother can get into a routine and feel comfortable there. This is never an easy decision, but in the best interest for the patient.
    We are all here for your family.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Lana, thank you for your support and kind words. Yes I’m sure it will be difficult at first for her, that initial stage of not knowing anyone there. With her morning caretaker at first she was extremely resistant but eventually she really warmed up, so once she gets that routine down it should help. Thank you for understanding! We love being with her but at this point for her health and safety this is the right thing to do.

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  3. Great post, Laura. All the best on your next phase! ❀️❀️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You’re welcome! 😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s a tough decision, but I can tell you’ve consulted both head and heart before making it. I hope all goes smoothly!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much! ❀

      Liked by 1 person

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